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Hunter

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!' ” -S. Ernaldo

Through works professed as neither being for good or for evil, Saint Ernaldo is included with the undefined mid-ground of gods following an idea of their own creation. As one of the four gods of "Love" he falls into the cruder of categories as the god of voyuerism and public copulation.  This has earned him names such as Salacious Ernaldo and Saint Ribaldo.

He belongs among the throng of chaos gods who don't take sides and spend their energies making the change they wish to see in the world regardless of circumstances.

In this case, the goal is "To have a little more fun, by any means necessary."

Fun is somewhat of an estranged concept to most the pantheon over the Orb, but that is precisely the reason Ernaldo, a small though constant presence since the Start of Time has continued the craft of practicing open copulation in strange, unique public places "to keep the folk of this spinning ball guessing at what they might see next, and if it will be naked and fucking or not."

The recompense of mortalfolk directing their aether in this less-than traditional method of worship?

Powerful orgasms.

Strength grows as the peculiarity of worship increases. For some, this proves a greater enticing factor than any amount of wealth or security.

There has also been observation that constant "followers" of the Saint experience pregnancy less often, if at all with the thought Ernaldo might be 'keeping them in the game' as it were to continue their sordid coitus without the tiresome trial of childbirth holding back the ladyfolk.

Throwing off the standard grandiose tone invoked by larger deities, Ernaldo quickly scoffs his place as a holy entity and chooses to live as a physical formed member of the folk sometimes deceiving those who don't know him into believing he is a common mortal. Ernaldo retains his godly powers in his hyoomin shape and finds greater challenge in completing his bizarre antics in doing so, which he proclaims is, "Better than sitting up on some sky mountain counting homage and prayers received like fucks you don't give. Now, the fucks I give are way more interesting, usually involving a lithe little bit of flesh and curiosity on top of a belltower as the noonbells chime and send vibrations through our bodies and this mundane life we live."

Even those who daring enough to "love themselves" in a public space will find "a little more joy in the palm of their hand" with the intensity of climax boosted so long as the would-be follower is consciously completing the act in deviance. That is to say, a common droog smacking his sausage out back of the hen house is simply being an animal of nature, whereas Sad Fucker looking to get a little lucky under the eyes of the idle lordie may whip his white ribbon around in the back pews, giving a little grin and unconsecrated offering to Ernaldo in another god's living room, exchanging decorum for the peppy zing.

For his down-to-sphere way of thinking, an eccentric cult of followers have gathered around him, seeing Ernaldo's simple ways and strange habits as something fresh on the sphere from all the stuffy diatribes against indecency. By embracing his 'teachings' they hope to gain his favor and someday rise to the inner circle around the god himself. The promise of a more interesting life in return for perpetrating more interesting acts of a naughty, coarse, or vulgar nature by commonfolk looking to break their cycles of daily monotony under the eye of so many watchful gods who always expect more.

Saint Ernaldo is " ... the spice of life in a life in need of spice."

A List of EncountersEdit

Here is a partial list verified and compiled by a lonely scribe of Saint Ernaldo, who felt a little less alone by his service to Salacious Ribaldo.

  • A pirate ship on display in a Selsol museum (5; 2M &3F)
  • The middle of a town reservoir using a Floovium float stone (2; 1M &1F)
  • Slavemaster's desk in Kauld, using the miner's whip (2; 2M)
  • Through astral projection at a sibling's wedding (2; 1M & 1F)
  • Multiple accounts of lovers snuck into convoy of flinn to do it amongst the cargo in the sky (varying numbers and gender)
  • In a very large bowl of salad during a feast (2; 1M &1F)
  • At the top of the Hunting Tower in the fields of Lea (5; 5M)
  • Your Mom's bedroom (2; Me & Your Mom)
  • In a city square on top of tea leaves claiming to be making prophecy (2; 2F)