Here is the hero we're talking about, obviously.

By birth, his name is Jakob Lionheart, but he is better known through the Orb as The Obvious Hero, for his quality of achievements is only trumped by the obviousness with which he achieves them. He's also created an unintentional persona making a wide-stretching reputation. The Lionheart's feats of battle and valor are usually the afterthought to jokes made about the plain nature and blatant manner they were accomplished.

He saves damsels in distress. He trains very hard, even on his days off. He likes to drink a lot of beer. He truly, deeply loves his mother. His actions are so apropos of who he is, and his heroism is so readily apparent that he has become iconic beyond his born name and actions, as The Obvious Hero.

Though never to his face, many make jokes and wisecracks of the things he says, repeating them in jest of his extremely straightforward manner of speech. (see Quotes)

Most of what he says has a strong, upward lilting tone that is repeated no matter the contents of what is being spoken. For this manner of speech some also refer to him strangely more politely as the Hero of Tautology. Others have called him the Hero of Heroes for doing exactly what a hero does, and not getting to tangled up in his wealth, drugs, or the media.

While he may come off as... "simple", Jakob is considered very bright and resourceful, as any true hero must be.

Early LifeEdit


Jacob was born in a small house near a farm in a valley not far from a mountain range and also an ocean. He went to the nearest nursery and did everything he was told. He got into fights with other village scamps but never bloodied them too bad and stopped when asked to quit it, wherein he immediately felt bad for it and was slowly encouraged to use his above-average strength and skills to do good things for good people.


After beating an entire pack of ulf badgers into submission with a broken tree branch, Jacob's impressive ability of knocking things silly became apparent, and his dutiful obeying of all that was asked by a figure of authority was noted as well. He soon enrolled as one of the youngest foot soldiers in a local militia, and spent a number of years as a town patrol guard, winning "Guard of the Month" multiple times and "Best Daytime Patrol" by decree of the mayor, because of course he did. Other guards never really got the chance, you know? They had dreams and lives and desires, where as Jakob only had guard duty. So while they toiled in petty contempt, Jakob toiled better in it than them, and worked his way up to becoming the Captain and got a shiny gold helmet. One time he met a king of a city who said he was a good guy, and Jakob said "Thank you." From them he knew he must keep being a good guy, because that was the obvious thing to do.


After becoming full initiated into the domain's battalion forces, the Lionheart lead mission after mission with above average results constantly, Jacob saw enough of the world to know he needed to make his own way in life, and everyone thought that was okay. He would leave the armed forces with an eternally patted back to go forth and seek his own destiny. His own unique, good-flavored destiny. Just like every other hero.


Jacob is a hyoomin male who is six-foots and two-inchworms tall with dusty blonde-brown hair and pale blue eyes. He is strong and muscular with an excellent jaw line. His gender his male. His weight is MUSCLES and those muscles are good at fighting with a sword, because he is a fighter, single class for-ev-er. His above-average proportions everywhere give him an advantage everywhere. And we mean everywhere.


The Obvious Hero's reputation comes from just some these tasks.

  • He Greater Cleave'd an entire pack of goblins.
  • He visited the hotel and bar of every city he has been to.
  • He has 100% quest completion, be it in success or failure.
  • He doesn't steal from NPCs.
  • He invaded a castle by opening the front gate and walking in, instead of taking two hours to plan with other party members a faulty sneak plan to get in that would still rely mostly on luck.
  • He won a pit fight with a bear. Then nursed the bears wounds until it was healthy. He now rides a bear.
  • He won a race.
  • He moved an entire forest through tree chopping (with his sword) and replanting seeds (with his sword) some two or so leagues away so that this one town had a nicer view of snowcapped mountains.
  • He went in every room of a dungeon.
  • He completed an escort mission well under the time limit.
  • He took the high road.
  • He knows it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. He does his cooking by the book.
  • He became good at an instrument and successfully used the word "whimsical" in the context of a conversation without coming off like a toffer. However, he didn't enjoy doing it, but his mother told him "to be well-rounded but don't get fat, ya hear? Har-har!"
  • He guarded a herd of sheep for a fortnight just to figure out what a fornight was.
  • He told jokes found funny by lythe young lasses in many towns without turning into Mr. Creepyfingers soon after. (He was unaware of this humor and baffled by the attention directed to not-his-sword)
  • He killed all the dragons into extinction. (See Why Are There No Damned Dragons?)


The Obvious Hero, is apt to his name and skilled with a sword. His hits are strong and effective. He also knows how to fight with a shield very well. His alternate weapon is another sword, a greatsword, and the preferred stance is the greatsword two-handed grip fighting style. On days where he wants to break the mold, he'll fight with two swords, though claims it still feels unnatural.

Before striking he'll say something like, "I'm going to hit you!" or, if the target looks dodgy, he'll say "I'm going to try and hit you!" In the case he has made numerous successful attacks that have put him at the advantage in a fight, he'll say something plucky to the tune of "I'm winning! I'm winning!"


He wears armor silver made by a really great blacksmith. It's very durable and deflects many of the blows that aren't stopped by the swift parry of his sword or deft movement of his shield. His shield is tall. Jacob doesn't like being hit by maces. If he gets hit with one, he'll say something like "Ow!" or "That hurts very much!"


Jacob only does good things, like his mama raised him to do, which is why he may strut around a town saying, "I'm a good guy! I'm very good!" Some tire of this reminder--that is up until a pack of dire deer mice find their way into the grain silo. After its fur is made into blankets for 7 newly born infants, Jakob actions are noted, praised, and this increases the townfolk's endurance to the Lionheart's brutal optimism and self-righteous 'tude.

He saves people in trouble, kills monsters and wrong doers, and helps ladies with problems, but only the ones where a sword is the answer. If asked to solve an issue of the heart, such as training cowardly lads for combat, his only answer will be to make them fight until they are brave. This method has a 27% success rate, which Jacob claims is, "Good enough."

When in dialog with others, he only has one option to choose from. He doesn't argue, he swords like it's a verb.


When asked why he takes no wife, he responds with "Wifing is for singers and poets with lame swords. My sword is great! So am I!" and begins to polish his trusty keen long sword vigorously.


While untested, there are theories he may be abstinent for a reason. Let us say of all his well-maintained swords, one might simply never seem to get sharp.

Doable DeedsEdit

Jacob Lionheart will at any time be doing or soon will do acts such as the following:

  • Vanquish Evil
  • Save folks
  • Rescue yet another captured noble lady
  • Find all the treasure (and give some to his mother for "safe-keeping")
  • Help mortalfolk in their mundane tasks (he particularly likes polishing wooden objects)
  • Made other people not want to do bad doings because he is being very, very good

Perfectly Good, Not Perfectly PerfectEdit


His spotless record is not without failures, be it no fault of his own. Getting beaten in battle is not unheard of ("I'm losing!" is surely to be followed by "I lost" if spoken by The Obvious Hero). If offered a mission he deems by experience to be dangerous, he'll say something like "That's too dangerous" and won't do it. If the contract completion does not offer a good enough reward, he'll say "That's not enough payment." His strong power of judgment is as predictable as everything he says following that judgment.

For this, some have come to call him "The Orb's Most Boring Prophet".


Occasionally, unwary folk have mistaken the simplicity of his speech for perfect honesty. For example, when Rexor Boots--a former bounty hunter looking to remake his reputation--met The Obvious Hero, Boots asked T.O.H. who would win a fight. Jacob replied, "You would beat me in a fight." When Boots found himself pinned to a tree, sword out of his gut, he said with his dying breath "You shit sack, you shike, I thought you said I would beat you!" to which The Obvious Hero replied "I was lying! I lied at that time with my words! And your bad words are bad!" before removing his sword and taking his head back to a neighboring town to collect a reverse-bounty.

Possible Godly InfluencesEdit

There is open talk that Jacob Lionheart was chosen from birth to be the hero he is, owing to how obvious his success would then be, and is no longer a real member of the Auldensphere's folk. He has a record of service untarnished from personal desire or greed, and this has led to ideas of non-mortal sources for his strength and implacable ability to be constantly good. His parents just insist they "raised him right, and made sure he helped around the farm, rewarding the good deeds with an extra helping of acorn squash porridge."

He is also well into his 1000th moon cycle (circa 52 if you can't math. It's okay, neither can Jakob), yet showing no signs of slowing down being a great hero. When asked about the effect of age upon his efforts, he responds saying, "I'm old, but I still have a lot of things to do!" His bright and sunny disposition is enough to leave some people with sunburns.

Popular CultureEdit

Because of the simplicity of his statement, if any folk makes a very common observation out loud about something, a near bystander may come back with, "Who told you that, The Obvious Hero?" followed by hearty guffaws.


  • "You're Evil with a capital 'E'! I'm going to hit you with my sword!"
  • "You're very unlikeable! I don't like you!"
  • "I've hit you with my sword. Now you're bleeding. My sword is sharp! Because I sharpened it!"
  • "The moon goes away sometimes."
  • "You've done something that makes me angry! Now I'm angry!"
  • "Being bad is bad! Being good is good!"
  • "Puppies have soft bellies! I like puppies."
  • "I'm running very fast! Fast is the speed I am running!"
  • "I found a lot of valuable money!"
  • "Doors are for opening and closing."
  • "I'm good! The goodest! And goodest isn't even a word!"
  • "I feel sad sometimes."
  • "I like beer!"
  • "Ladies have complications, more than I do. And many don't even have a sword."
  • "I will not rest until all babies are born healthy!"
  • "I love my Mom! She loves me! Very much! I may have issues, or at least a complex!'
  • "I'm naked! I'm not wearing clothes!"